Last night i was writhing in pain, absolutely sweating and shivering from the pain until Helen decided to loosen my bandage. i hope that did no harm. It was cutting off my circulation, immediately after i got some relief, and i still feel the improvement. my thigh had been in huge pain before, and now its so much duller.
last night was by far one of the worst nights to date. I slept fine but was woken by the need to pee at 3am... this turned into a bout of a bad stomach upset and helen had to be up for a long time holding my leg...it was bad. then i got back into bed and my teeth were literally chattering>? from i would assume MORE FREAKING PAIN.
this morning, my leg is still sore and a bit stiff. I realise i haven't been eating very much at all and i can balance my laptop on my hip bones. Which i dont mind. They are sticking out pretty far now. and my stomach seems to have shrunk. I cant really remember waht i eat, But i know its barealy anything at each meal because the damn pain interuptts any sort of enjoyment i could have with foood and i immediately lose my appittite. Eating doesn't sound very appealing these days, it means either peeing or ..ya know.. which means i have to get out of bed, undo the ice machine, unwrap my leg, helen holds it up and straight out, with two hands, and i balance on my good leg and hold onto anything to keep steady. then helen watches me pee, and i get up and go back to bed, we wrap everything, ect ect ect. long tiresome process. ites easier just not to eat or drink much. which is bad i know. whatever. my back is sore now too, too much laying in bed, i wonder if ill get bed sores. god i hope not. I hope it rains again today. It makes me feel as though its ok to be inside like i am.
ow my back, i have cramps too. How does that even happen?? shouldn't my painkillers kill small pain like cramps at least?? that shows how litttle they are doing. fuck them fuck my doctor. FUCK THIS WHOLE THING.
seriously this has been the worst few days of my life.
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